[23.6.24] - The Yellow Wallpaper, Gardens

The Yellow Wallpaper is an 1892 short story written by Charlotte Perkins Gilman. The book follows our narrator as she moves to the countryside as part of a rest cure for her post partum depression, prescribed by John, a respected physician and her husband. During her rest and the duration of the story, our main character is constantly belittled, infantilized, isolated, and gaslit by her husband until she experiences severe psychosis and eventually a complete mental breakdown. 

Gilman uses the story to speak about the oppression and control over women prevalent during the 19th century, especially with the expectations of patriarchal subservience and motherhood. Many of the motifs of the story are found within their bedroom, a former nursery and children's room, which is the source of much of our narrators distress. She is forced to sleep and spend much of her time resting within the room by her husband as he believes it to be the best for her recovery despite her repeated protest and availability of alternative rooms. The bedroom also contains the titular yellow wallpaper, the complex, ugly patterns twisting into complex mazes and prison bars as the narrator's mental state declines. She convinces herself that she sees a woman trapped behind the pattern who escapes and creeps through the gardens during the day, much like the narrator herself who manages to take short walks through the garden while her husband is away at work, seemingly the only freedom granted to her. The gardens are constantly visible through the large windows of her bedroom, though the windows remain barred. The garden's represent much of the freedom that the narrator seeks, constantly describing how beautiful they are and how limited her access to them is due to the rest prescribed by John, watching strangers walk through the arbors and pathways and the countryside beyond.

Gilman's choice of meticulously maintained gardens rather than lush forests, fields, or other beautiful natural features that could surround a countryside mansion reveals that the freedom that her character becomes insane seeking is still limited as it only exists within the greater manufactured patriarchal structure. The only characters ever specified to be seen within the garden are women, John's sister Jennie, the woman from the wallpaper, and the narrator herself. John is often away from the home but is never mentioned to be within or passing through the garden, instead existing within a wider world outside of the limited scope that the narrator is permitted to experience by him. It is only the women of the story that are confined to the gardens, and the narrator's perception beyond are limited a single mention of trees and country meadows. This choice suggests that to the narrator (and by extension the other women of the story) that even her perception of freedom is still greatly limited by the systems of the patriarchy she finds herself in and is unaware of life as someone truly independent and equal as no precedent exists for her to see, instead only seeing the limits of what her culture and husband allow.  

^^^ THE BOOK ^^^

[6.6.26] - Haircut

 I was giving myself a haircut and not gonna lie, I've been cutting my own hair for the past year and not one single time have I not been high during it. Anyways, I think I accidently gave myself the Memoria Matters pixie cut (see below) so whoopsies :P. I think I was aiming for a Mick Jagger and kinda missed the mark

[6.4.26] - I AM OVER IT

 I AM SICK AND TIRED OF SEEING PEOPLE ARGUE THIS ISSUE!!!! I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE PEOPLE WERE DEFENDING THIS!!!! >>>:(

Blackagar Boltagon is 100% unequivocally a STUPID FUCKING NAME!!! HIS HERO NAME IS FUCKING BLACK BOLT AND YOU MADE HIS IDENTITY BLACKAGAR BOLTAGON??????????

"Oh but he's an alien, he's an alien, of course his name won't sound normal" EXCEPT HE'S NOT A FUCKING ALIEN HE'S A COMIC BOOK CHARACTER THAT SOMEONE WROTE!!! Could you imagine if Superman's real name was Superterber Mannigan? Honest to god even Martian Manhunter has a better alien origin secret identity and his sounds like a concussed white guy trying to remember his name. I swear to god if I see another person defending Black Bolt's stupid name I'm gonna flip my shit!! (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Stupid asshole in question btw:       vvvv

[4.6.26] My Favorite Musicians!!

 What the WHAT!?!?!?!

Aw yeah homos here is my objective choices for my personal BEST music artists out there! No EXCEPTIONS!!!!!!! This is 100% a completely objective list so you can't argue < :-D

Also in no particular order :P 

WWHHHHOOOAAAAAAAAA.....

                                .......AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

We slid into center alignment!

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BJÖRK

ANY AND ALL BJÖRK HATE IS NOT ALLOWED!!! I freaking love my Icelandic queen and all her weird ass music FUCKING POP OFF. Top 3 vocalists for certain/

Fave songs: 

Army of Me - this shit actually goes fucking crazy and I love the weird ass music video and I wouldn't trust that dentist either

Human Behaviour - Really shows off her voice and also the timpani for a bass line made it feel so unique without being super obvious (for me :P)

Venus As A Boy - Such a cute song that still has so many layers in the backings but leik so does every one of her songs. Also 10/10 music video she just rubs an egg on her face for like a quarter of it.

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SADE

Everyone knows Sade because everyone knows Smooth Operator, but the rest of her catalogue is so so SO freaking awesomesauce, like genuinely one of my favourite vocalists ever

Fave songs:

Smooth Operator - Well of course this is one of my favorites, its likely one of the best in the whole freaking world, enough said.

Love Is Found - Such a stunningly gorgeous intro with the dramatic brass and string instrumentation and the contrast with the fucking nasty guitar tone its all just sinister and hot like fr listen to this shit through some good speakers or headphones or smth

Is It A Crime? - Holy shit just a beautiful fucking song. For lack of (wanting to find) a better analogy, this song is like amazing sex compressed into 6 minutes, after care included. [Elaboration to come]

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DEPECHE MODE

Alright, alright, I admit that I haven't explored the Depeche Mode discography extensively, BUT(!!!!) I have listened to The Singles 86-98 several times in a loop while doing uni work and also like they are actual forerunners of their genre sooooooo

Fave songs:

Only When I Lose Myself - Probably my favourite Depeche Mode song, like its just so seductive and mysterious and its just perfect

Condemnation - Such a departure from the rest of their music but still somehow making gospel so distinctly Depeche Mode. The roughness around the vocals really adds some emotion in it for me too

Barrel of a Gun - Just put this fucking song on, hit the motorway at the middle of the night and just start driving. I swear to god it'll be borderline euphoric. This song has more of that signature sensual Depeche Mode rhythm, and the combination of the rawness of the vocal tone at times. It's also helped by being immediately followed by another great late night driving song in Singles 96-98

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THE BEATLES

No don't throw tomatoes at me no!!!!!

Honestly, I have no clue what the standings are around the Beatles nowadays but like they definitely had a very large influence on my decision to start playing, writing, and performing music. Also they just are objectively really good idk if we have any anti-Beatle-ers in the house but its true.

Fave songs:

I Want You (She's So Heavy) - I honestly don't care about abbey road too much but this is very likely my favourite Beatles song. That driving, heavy, intense riff alternating with some of my psych rock grooves of all time is just unparalleled

Drive My Car - My number 1 song in my number 1 Beatles album, it's really the only old Beatle-mania era type song that I absolutely adore because of how catchy and nostalgic it is.

Fixing A Hole - Oh my glob this song is just so charming, the melody, the harmonies, the instrumentation. It's good enough to be a notable highlight when I listen to Sgt Pepper's. 

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THE CLASH

There is not a single doubt in my mind about London Calling being the best Clash album which I don't think is a controversial take to have. The album is so good that all of my favorite songs come from it. If you need to listen to The Clash, listen to the London Calling Album.

Fave songs:

Brand New Cadillac - Brand New Cadillac is the song I refer to as 'my song', for years it was always what I would need to listen to hype myself up to do something. There's like an 80 percent chance that listening to this makes me speed on the highway

Lost in the Supermarket - Such a freaking cute song I adore the lyrics and if I could make music like it I would but like there's still a sad aspect to it. Also I love the little bass lines that sound like "pea knuckle" (or pinochle if you're a fucking asshole) and I think about it every time I listen. Very charming :)))

Spanish Bombs - Another very fun song except this one is about the 1930s anti-fascist Spanish rebellion against Francisco Franco (also Francisco Franco is like comic book tier secret identity naming for a fascist). Honestly, this whole album is so good I struggled to choose which one to place here beneath Brand New Cadillac and Lost in the Supermarket. Just listen to the WHOLE FREAKING ALBUM ALREADY, JESUS!!!

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THE CARDIGANS

I would classify myself as a hopeless romantic, and nearly every time I'm in a mood about it, The Cardigans are playing. If they ever disappeared I don't know who I could possible replace them with.

Fave songs:

Been It - I just love these lyrics and and Nina Persson absolutely kills the song, her vocals just add so much to the music. Short review, but just listen to it it all fits together so well.

My Favourite Game - I feel like so much of the tone of this song is so perfect for what they were trying to go for, especially that synth sound that sounds like a voice (or voice that sounds like a synth sound but I'm pretty sure its the former). I feel jealous for all the people that got to listen to this in the GT2 intro. Also if I was still a twink I would def be wearing those leather bell bottoms she has on in the music video

Carnival - It was a close fight between this and Cloudy Sky, but I think this one just irks it out. It's such a freaking catchy song!! Come on and love me now!!!! Also I love that little electric organ thing.

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JOEY VALENCE AND BRAE

I was always a fan of the Beastie Boys so JVB is just a natural progression. 9/10 times I'm at least listening to some JVB before hitting the town. I also saw them live and went fucking BATSHIT crazy. 

Fave songs:

365 - Not their song obv, but I 100% believe that their version of 365 is way better than Charli's version. 365 on brat was lowkey like 7/10 at best compared to the rest of the album but holy shit the JVB version goes hard

FREAKS - ME!! ME!!!! IM THE FREAKS IM GETTING ONTO THAT FUCKING DANCE FLOOR!! ME!!!!!!! GET OUT OF My FUCKING WAY, ASSHOLE MY FUCKING TUNE IS ON!!!!!!!

THE BADDEST (BADDER) - Again it was really hard to figure out which 3 I would mention out of such a good discography, but THE BADDEST (BADDER) Has our very own miss Ayesha Erotica so of course it needs to be up here. Please I promise you put her in more of your songs and that shit will go BALLISTIC.

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EMILY JEFFRI

Emily is the smallest artist on the list but by god I love their stuff. The majority of their stuff is this amazingly sinister and foreboding four on the floor that makes me wish I was in that club from blade. Genuinely wish I could hear their stuff on the dance floor. Also no to brag but they did like my Instagram story one time so I'm practically famous :$

Fave songs:

INCUBUS - Prime time example of why I love their music, its like their holotype to me. I'm listening to all the songs again writing this and it is a genuine disservice that its not being played by some big ass speakers with big ass laser lights or something in the dark

sex with your ghost - It was tough to pick one to represent their last album but I think this one is my favourite from it. This album doesn't have a huge amount of variation (their newer stuff has way more) but again, its all just very consistent IMO. Please I'm BEGGING release another full length album PLEASEEEEEEEEE :'(

VERSE - A very different song than what they usually make and its probably my favourite just because its so different but yet it feels so identifiably them. I also think it was a good chance for Emily to show off their actual singing without their voice being hidden behind as many effects. I used to listen to this song on repeat on my drive home from work 10pm on repeat, it is WORTH LISTENING TO!!

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:::::HONORABLE MENTIONS:::::

Beth Orton

Ayesha Erotica

Bikini Kill

Santana

Billie Holiday

Lesley Gore

Led Zepplin

Cage the Elephant

Sex Bob-Omb